Ah, January. The month of fresh starts, new beginnings, and... the ever-looming pressure of
New Year’s resolutions. Everywhere you turn, there’s an expectation to “reinvent” yourself, set
grandiose goals, and transform into a better version of yourself. But for many, the pressure of
starting the year with perfectionist goals can lead to burnout, guilt, and frustration, especially if those resolutions feel imposed by societal standards rather than aligned with our true needs.
If you’ve found yourself dreading this time of year or feeling like your New Year’s resolutions are just another thing to fail at, you're not alone. Instead of following the mainstream narrative of self-improvement, let’s shift the focus to creating goals that are not only sustainable but compassionate to your whole self. This approach takes into account your individual circumstances, challenges, and the oppressive systems that shape your experiences.
It’s time to ditch the hustle culture and instead create goals that support your well-being, personal growth, and values—without the pressure.
1. Let Go of “One Size Fits All” Goals
We’ve all been sold the idea that setting goals is about being productive and achieving at all costs, often based on external standards like getting fit, losing weight, or making more money.
But these “one size fits all” goals don’t consider the complexities of your identity, life situation, or well-being. Goals driven by societal expectations—especially in a culture that often values thinness, wealth, and individual success—can harm those who are marginalized by race, gender, ability, class, or other factors. These goals may inadvertently reinforce oppressive ideals, contributing to feelings of inadequacy or self-blame. By shifting away from these broad goals, you allow space for a more inclusive and holistic approach to personal development.
Instead of chasing goals based on societal pressure, ask yourself: What do I truly value? What would make me feel aligned with my sense of self and purpose? Your goals can be as unique as you are. Let go of what the world says you “should” do and focus on what feels empowering to you.
If you’ve been feeling burnt out or exhausted, the idea of adding more to your plate with a list of resolutions might seem overwhelming. Rest and healing aren’t just optional—they’re essential for mental, emotional, and physical health.
The capitalist drive for constant productivity and “hustle” culture often leaves little room for rest, especially for those who are oppressed by systems of inequality. The expectation that we should always be working towards some goal ignores the fact that many of us are dealing with chronic stress, trauma, and systemic barriers. Rest, self-compassion, and healing aren’t indulgent; they’re acts of resistance against oppressive systems that demand constant labor.
Consider incorporating goals around self-care and healing into your plans for the year. These
could include regular breaks, setting boundaries, seeking therapy, or connecting with supportive communities. By prioritizing rest and healing, you’re fostering a sustainable pace that acknowledges the challenges you face without adding more pressure.
3. Set Goals That Are Flexible, Not Rigid
It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of achieving goals in a perfect, linear way. But life rarely follows a straight path, and the pressure to meet rigid goals can lead to feelings of failure when things don’t go as planned.
Many marginalized individuals face unexpected challenges due to discrimination, lack of resources, or systemic inequality. Rigid goals that don’t account for these realities can set people up for failure or guilt when life inevitably gets in the way. Instead of setting hard-and-fast goals, aim for flexibility. Frame your goals as intentions rather than strict rules. For example, instead of saying, “I will work out every day,” try something like, “I intend to move my body in a way that feels good to me throughout the week.” This way, you're giving yourself room to adjust based on how you're feeling without compromising your well-being.
4. Reflect on Your Intersectionality
Your identity is made up of many different layers—race, gender, class, ability, sexual orientation, and more. These intersecting aspects of who you are shape the way you experience the world and interact with goals. A goal that works for someone else may not be realistic or achievable for you due to your unique experiences.
Goals that fail to consider intersectionality often perpetuate inequality and marginalization. For example, setting goals that assume equal access to resources (like time, money, or education) ignores the ways in which structural barriers affect people differently.
Acknowledging your intersectionality allows you to set realistic goals that are aligned with your lived experience. When thinking about your goals, consider how different aspects of your identity may impact your ability to pursue them. For example, if you are managing chronic illness or facing financial hardship, you might adjust your goals to account for those challenges. Your goals should reflect your needs and your capacity, not societal expectations of what success looks like.
5. Embrace Community Over Individualism
We live in a culture that emphasizes individual achievement and competition. But healing,
growth, and progress often happen in community, not in isolation. Instead of focusing solely on individual goals, consider how your goals might contribute to collective well-being.
Oppressive systems often encourage individualistic thinking, creating a narrative that success is only possible through personal effort and achievement. This ignores the power of community, solidarity, and collective action, all of which are crucial for dismantling oppressive systems.
Consider setting goals that prioritize connection and community. This could mean offering support to others, joining advocacy efforts, or simply building relationships with people who share your values. By doing so, you not only enrich your own life but also help foster a world where everyone has the opportunity to thrive.
6. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Focusing on achieving a perfect outcome can leave us disappointed if things don’t go as
planned. Instead of aiming for perfection, celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Perfectionism is a tool of oppression. It keeps us trapped in a cycle of self-criticism and
unrealistic standards, often based on white, capitalist ideals. Recognizing and celebrating
progress, however, nurtures self-compassion and fosters a healthier relationship with success.
Instead of measuring success by the “end result,” celebrate the steps you take toward your goals. Whether you’re moving toward better mental health, social justice, or personal development, every small victory is worth acknowledging.
Conclusion: Embrace a New Way of Goal-Setting
This year, let go of the New Year’s resolution trap and create goals reflecting your true identity. By acknowledging your intersectionality, embracing rest, being flexible, and prioritizing community, you can create goals that are not only achievable but compassionate and sustainable.
As you move forward, remember that goals aren’t about perfection—they’re about progress, alignment with your values, and honoring the fullness of your identity. So, take a deep breath, trust the process, and create goals that support your well-being, not your exhaustion.
Happy goal-setting!
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